Do you watch Queer Eye? It’s a show on Netflix that my family is hooked on. (Well, OK, my older teenage daughter is obsessed.)
If you watched one of this season’s episodes of Queer Eye, you heard Karamo (aka the psychology/counsellor guy) say this gem to a client:
The reason you don’t have the present or the future you want is because of your past.
BOOM! (Insert mic drop.)
Yes, yes, and hell yes.
That is precisely the point I made in last week’s post about undertaking spring cleaning for your finances.
If you want to make progress of any kind, you need to identify, then clear out, the mental debris from the past that is keeping you locked in today’s patterns.
If you’re rocking your finances and you are precisely where you want to be in life, then ignore this post and carry on with your day.
Still here? Then this is info is for you.
Wired For Wealth
Brad Klontz, a clinical psychologist who has done a lot of work in the field of psychology and money, and co-author of the book Wired For Wealth, said this:
Our most powerful money scripts are difficult to change on our own. The most stubbornly held money scripts are locked in place by intense emotions.
Last week, I asked you to identify the areas of your finances that weren’t working for you. Pull up that list once again.
How many of those items have been a challenge for years?
Have you tried to address them in the past and failed to get lasting results?
Are you still trying to figure out how on earth to deal with the emotions wrapped up in some aspects of money that have been challenging for you – blame, shame, embarrassment, anger and frustration, to name just a few?
If so, cut yourself some slack. You are not alone. This is a problem for many, many people.
And the reason is hinted at in Karamo’s and Brad Klontz’s quotes – the roots are sometimes deep and they’re wrapped up in uncomfortable emotions.
Knowing this, what can you do to weed them out and unshackle yourself from the limitations of the past, once and for all?
Worthy of your time
It starts with setting aside time to think about what is not working for you; what is holding you back. That was the task from last week.
Then, you focus on one challenge at a time and dig to find the roots. When you’ve located the roots, you pull them out, as it were.
Mindset problems are like dandelions: if you don’t get to the roots, they’ll keep popping back up.
Spend some time drilling down on your biggest challenge to figure out where, in your past, it comes from; then change the script that’s driving your behaviors.
If you change the script, you will change your results. It’s simple and infuriatingly difficult all at once.
Changing the script requires the following:
- Gaining clarity on where the issue comes from.
- Acknowledging the associated emotions tied to the issue, belief or behaviour.
- Challenging the belief.
- Replacing the old script with a new, healthier one.
- Allowing yourself to make progress through ongoing, conscious attention to your reactions and emotions.
Any time you spend understanding and addressing mindset challenges will pay big dividends. Unlike so many tasks that fritter away your most precious resource – your time- this one is worthy of your attention.
Get help to get faster results
Can you do this work alone? Absolutely. Follow the template that I’ve provided above and you, too, can address any residual mental “debris” that is slowing or stopping your progress.
But it’s tricky work. If it were easy, more people would be blasting through mindset challenges.
If you want to release limitations, blocks and harmful beliefs once and for all, join me in my Master Your Mindset course which starts on Monday, June 15th.
I have helped countless women move past mental barriers in the past decade. I can help you, too. I joke that mindset work is one of my super powers. (By the way, we all have super powers. What’s yours?)
Since this is my first online course, with optional group coaching, I have made it very affordable. In fact, the group coaching rate is far lower than my normal coaching rate as a first-time bonus. Take advantage of those savings while they last!
Grab the DIY version ($97) to work at your own pace, or get my guidance through the online course plus four and a half hours of live, virtual group coaching sessions ($247).
Whatever you do, don’t let this be your reality:
Here’s the course link for more details and to register:
The course starts in five days. Don’t miss out!